


Father's Will

by Eustacia Vye (eustaciavye)



Series: Ready For The Siege [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-24 16:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1611626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eustaciavye/pseuds/Eustacia%20Vye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Healing has to take place now, and not all of it is physical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heavy Conversation

After a brief period dozing off, Loki curled his fingers around Natasha's hip. Licking his lips almost nervously, he managed a smile when she lifted her head to look at him curiously. "It's our designated time tomorrow."

"I think under the circumstances we can put that off," Natasha informed him. She could barely use her right arm to push herself up to view his face. "Neither of us are in much condition to do much work there."

His smile was frozen in place, and Natasha wasn't sure if she had offended him in some way. To be perfectly honest, at the moment she felt too tired and battered to care if she did. "I have my magic to hold you or keep me steady. I want..." He faltered and tried again. "There's no need for you to hold me down for me to get at the taste of you. It need not be physical..." He stopped, visibly frustrated that he wasn't expressing himself properly. "Tomorrow is our day," he said finally, looking as though he wished he could say something else.

"Yes," Natasha replied. She paused, considering how to phrase things in a way that would sound less condescending. "I think you deserve better than what I can offer at this time."

Loki blinked, not expecting that answer. "Oh. But if it's just words..."

"It's not just words," she murmured, giving up on the effort to sit up. "It's presence, it's focus, it's being there to catch you and then ease you back. I can't do that properly for you now."

He blew out a sighing breath. "Oh. It hadn't seemed complicated for you..."

Natasha snorted and collapsed back against the curve of his body. "As if anything involving you could be easily done." She smiled a little as he laughed, the sound of relief in his tone. Their deal meant so much more to him than she had thought it would. That was still a humbling fact to know, and meant she still had some kind of leverage over him.

"Is it still safe to rest?" Loki asked. She could hear the fear in his voice and feel the tension in his body. When she nodded, he relaxed beneath her.

Once he dropped off to sleep, she allowed herself to sleep as well. Her dreams were tangled skeins of hideous laughter, moving stone walls and rivers of blood that burned like acid. She left Loki to melt away in a pool of it, standing there and watching him scream. "It's delicious, isn't it?" Amora's voice whispered into the darkness above his head. "Look at him _burn._ They all will, and I'll have my revenge."

"I'm sure this looks worse than it is."

Natasha jerked awake, instantly regretting it when pain flared in her back. She hissed and looked up, seeing Frigga standing beside her bed with a look of concern on her face. Loki was still passed out, deathly pale, black hair matted to his head from blood and sweat. With difficulty, Natasha pushed herself to a seated position and willed herself not to scream from the pain. "No, it's worse than it looks. Whatever the venom was, it's inhibiting healing."

Frowning, Frigga moved around Natasha's bed to inspect her back. She didn't react to the pained sound that the queen made. To be honest, she had no idea how bad it looked, but it _felt_ awful and her right arm was weak. That wouldn't bode well for her future with SHIELD or the Avengers if it refused to heal. "I won't be able to heal this here."

Loki stirred, hands twitching and reaching for Natasha in his sleep. When he didn't find her, his eyes snapped open and there was an expression of pure panic on his face. Nothing more came out of his mouth than a frightened squeaking sound. Natasha had never seen him so afraid, and she wasn't sure how she felt about seeing that side of him. 

"Loki," Frigga murmured, reaching around Natasha to touch his knee. He froze, and she knew that it was because of his own self loathing and guilt. Frigga wouldn't know that, and the sharp intake of breath was proof of that. "Thor is away, helping to quiet the storms on other realms. Your friends had called, telling me about grievous injuries you'd suffered yesterday. But I won't be able to heal this here."

Expression shuttered, Loki's eyes slid away from Frigga's. "Of course not."

"I can bring Natasha with me, but I can't bring you."

"Do it, then. Leave me be."

Frigga's hand tightened on his knee. "Son..."

"Don't call me that," he snapped, still not looking at her. "We are not kin."

"You called me Mother," she said softly.

"A mistake."

Natasha could see what he was doing, but pushing Frigga away wasn't going to help him in the long run. Once he was truly backed into a corner, who knew what damage he would be capable of? "Why can't he get healed on Asgard?" she asked, taking some of the attention from him.

"The secret ways have all been sealed, and he has been barred from the gates."

"To walk into Asgard is to bow down to death," Loki said, a snarling tone to his voice.

Rolling her eyes at them, Natasha turned to Frigga. "Why would I need to go to Asgard?"

"This is not something a simple spell or herbal poultice can undo. Our High Healers will be able to use the Soul Forge to evaluate what the damage is, how this is working its way into your flesh and keeping it from repairing itself properly."

She saw Loki's lower lip tremble slightly at the mention of the scanner, but didn't remark on it. Instead, she nodded at Frigga. "Okay, then. Tony probably scanned the molecular structure of the venom that was used. Would that help?"

"I'm not sure. We can return for his knowledge should the healers need it."

Natasha eased herself off the bed and looked back at Loki. The wound seemed to look even more raw and red looking, and she wondered if it was still eating away at his flesh. "Stay here and rest. The others won't do anything to you."

"How can you be so sure?" he asked. He likely would have wanted to ask why they wouldn't be interested in killing him if Frigga wasn't standing beside him.

"They helped me get you free, and they'll follow my lead on this."

He gave her a sharp nod in response to her brisk tone, so Natasha turned to Frigga. "So, is there anywhere special to go to in order to travel to Asgard?"

Frigga gave her a kindly smile and shook her head. Taking Natasha's left arm in hand, she tilted her chin up slightly and pitched her voice to carry. "Heimdall, if you please. We're ready to return now."

Light shimmered all around them, and Natasha had the distinct impression of being squeezed into nothingness then transported _up_ somehow. It made her dizzy, and she vaguely recalled Fitz and Simmons saying that transmuting matter into energy and back again would require massive amounts of power if it didn't simply explode.

She didn't explode.

Natasha staggered a bit when her body resolved itself in a domed room, gilded walls and shimmering portals all around her. A tall figure with dark skin was wearing an ornate and gilded uniform and a horned helm matching the walls. He stood in the center of it all, hands on the pommel of a massive sword, his odd eyes coming to rest squarely on her. He gave her a nod of recognition before turning to face Frigga. "My Queen," he intoned, his voice resonant and full of heavy knowledge.

"Thank you," she said with a gracious smile.

"Hurry," he said, voice soft yet able to carry across the room. "The venom spreads its poison."

Her step faltered, but Natasha continued after Frigga down the rainbow bridge into Asgard. It was beautiful in the way that classic paintings were, golden spires and arches reaching toward a clear sky. It looked like a dream, a world that had finite borders and impossible technology to compensate for it. This was the realm that never aged or died, the realm that Loki had conspired to rule and the realm that Amora wanted to destroy.

Frigga took her to a room with walls so starkly white Natasha thought she would be blinded. The dark robed women gestured toward the table, and she laid down on her stomach to avoid adding any pressure to her back. The machine whirred and created a three dimensional image suspended in the air above her. "There is damage," the head Healer reported. "Muscle, sinew, bone. Older damage here indicates the loss of organs. We can repair it, of course..."

Turning her head, Natasha saw the Healer point to the distinct lack of uterus. "No," she said crisply. "Fix my back, and no more." The Healers were surprised by her blunt tone, and looked to Frigga for confirmation. "Over here," she snapped, gesturing to her own face. "I make my own medical decisions."

The intestines had rearranged themselves to fill the empty space in her pelvic cavity, so the image suspended above her body didn't look too vacant. Of course, her eyes couldn't help but stray to her back. The image reminded her of Tony's toys or the imaging studies in some SHIELD labs. The muscle around the right shoulder blade was the worst affected, but she had shifted around as she tried to pick the lock open, which meant that the damage was spread out across areas of her upper back. In the image, the venom damage was red and angry looking, surrounded by an orangey-yellow color. That color touched the bone and several tendons as well as various muscle groups in her upper back.

"Damage is extensive, as you can see. And there is further degradation. I can't be sure..."

"Am I going to be able to use my arm?" Natasha interrupted.

The Healer flinched. "We can neutralize it, maybe stop the poison. Perhaps then we can weave together new muscle and repair the damage." She looked to be middle aged and matronly, and likely had small children or grandchildren. It was the only reason Natasha could think of as to why she hesitated before saying "It's going to hurt."

She let out a bored sigh and dropped her head back to the table. "Might as well start, then."

Frigga offered her calming draughts or spells, but she wanted to remain clearheaded as the damage was repaired. It had hurt getting this damage, it made sense that the repair would hurt as well. At least this offered up some hope of future functionality. She grit her teeth and grabbed the table with her left hand the wound was probed, cleared and then worked on. Whimpers escaped her from time to time, and she bid the Healer continue each time she offered to stop in response to the pain. "It won't hurt any less ten minutes from now," Natasha replied, nearly snarling. "Just get on with it so I can train my arm back to full strength."

She refused to feel guilty about her surly attitude, and she refused to look Frigga in the eye. What would Loki feel like if he had been here? The damage was on his chest, too close to his heart. This Healer might very well faint in response to potentially severing it.

Natasha lost track of time, but by the time the Healer was done, she was covered in sweat and had odd poultices applied to her back. "There were healing spells, my Queen," the Healer told Frigga. "Excellent work, and they are already starting to respond to removing the traces of the poison that were left. By tomorrow, the body should be function as normal."

The Healer scurried away at Natasha's snarled "You could tell _me_ that."

"Do you enjoy scaring others?" Frigga asked.

"No. I don't enjoy incompetence and simpering for the sake of simpering."

"Interesting. Please come with me. Odin has requested an audience."

Natasha lofted an eyebrow at her. "This should be enlightening."

Frigga's smile didn't seem very genuine. "Perhaps it will be."

Odin sat on an impressive throne in a large throne room. Natasha followed Frigga, but stayed below the dais when Frigga climbed up to stand beside Odin. The one-eyed ruler took Natasha's measure, and she met his gaze head on. There was nothing to hide or be ashamed of as far as she was concerned, and all of magic swirling around her didn't make her feel awkward any longer. She didn't understand it any better now than when Loki first stormed into New York City with the Chitauri, but she knew its feel and some of its limitations. Magic was like anything else: it could be helpful, it could be harmful, it could be a weapon. Unlike stories and movies, there was no such thing as purely light or dark magic, only the intent of the caster.

"I have been informed that there was an arrangement of sorts between you and Loki," he began, and Natasha continued giving him a bland, indifferent look. "And now you both have been harmed by some kind of magic."

"Venom," she replied in crisp, no-nonsense tones. "Designed to cause a maximum amount of pain and damage as torture."

He was very still as he continued to contemplate her. "And who created this venom?"

"Amora the Enchantress," she replied. He had no recognition for the name, but Frigga clearly recognized it. "She had Skrall the Executioner with her." Neither one recognized the name this time. "Her plan was to torture and kill Loki, then move on to the rest of the royal family and burn Asgard to the ground."

Odin blinked his one eye very slowly as he digested Natasha's dry delivery. "And how did you hear about this plan?"

"From Amora herself."

"Where is she?"

"I killed her."

Lips pressed into a thin line of displeasure, Odin looked at her with a grave expression. "You killed an enchantress?"

"She's not used to physical attacks," Natasha replied evenly. "So I broke her hands and tore out her throat with my teeth."

Odin was very still, and Frigga went white as a sheet, her hand gripping Odin's throne very tightly. It probably shocked her sensibilities, but Natasha didn't consider her feelings in this. Her attention was focused on Odin. Tony would no doubt crack some kind of pirate joke or compare him to Fury. Natasha heartily disagreed, if only because she knew and respected Fury. She didn't know Odin at all, though Thor was a comrade, perhaps even a friend.

"I suppose that explains the blood on your clothing," Odin said slowly. "How did you come to be injured with the venom?"

"She had Loki tied to a stone slab with chains made from the heart of a neutron star." Frigga raised a hand to her lips in shock, the knuckles of her other hand gone white as she gripped the throne even harder. "There wasn't a key, so I had to pick the lock."

"For Loki's sake?" Odin queried.

"For all the realms," Natasha replied flatly.

Odin curled his lip, appearing irritated with her. "He cannot come here to reverse the damage."

"You do what you have to do."

He bristled somewhat at that. "Do you believe you know best in this regard?"

Natasha merely raised an eyebrow at him, refusing to rise to his bait. "You rule Asgard. You do what you think is best for your realm."

"For _all_ the realms," Odin corrected.

"I only have to manage his temper."

Odin waited to see if she would say more, but Natasha remained silent. Silence had never bothered her, and it gave her time to think about the nature of this meeting. Heimdall had urged her to hurry, that the poison was doing its work. Did he mean for her human flesh or did he mean that for Loki's sake?

"Manage. His. Temper." Odin paused, but she still remained silent, not cowed by his intense stare in the least. "And how do you do that?"

She returned his stare, her face a completely expressionless mask. There was no way she was going to discuss the details of her deal with Loki. "Depends on the situation." When Odin straightened, his lips compressed in a fine line, Natasha continued in flat tones. "I don't tell you how to do your job. It takes a lot to run a realm, and decisions like that often aren't pretty. I can tell you, sometimes mine aren't either."

He stared at her impassive face and was silent for a moment. He didn't seem to know how to respond to her apparent unflappable nature in front of his position of power. "And what would your suggestion be in this particular case?" he asked finally.

"I understand he's been banished from Asgard."

"You would have me reverse this decree?"

Natasha waved a hand negligently. "Your decree is your decree. You need to make sure Asgard is safe. Amora, at least, is no longer a threat to that safety. But Frigga had taken one look at my back and knew she couldn't treat it with spells on Midgard. Loki's wound is far, far worse, and is positioned right next to his heart. He was meant to suffer. She wanted him to go insane with pain and despair before he died, and it was brutal." Her tone was matter of fact, clinical. Frigga still was pale and clinging to Odin's throne. Odin simply stared at her, unmoving. "If he's not able to come here, the tech needs to come to Midgard to repair the damage. I gather it's continuing to work its way into him. As much as you may not want him here doing further harm, I don't get the feeling you want him dead."

Odin looked at her with a heavy expression. "He is my son," he said softly.

Unimpressed, Natasha remained still. Tony would _love_ to get his hands on Asgardian tech. Then again, he was one of the few on the planet who could probably understand it. Team him up with Bruce and Jane, and they would be nearly unstoppable.

"We will send a Soul Forge and a Healer to operate the device," Odin said finally.

She nodded her thanks and waited to be dismissed. When he continued to stare at her, she lofted an eyebrow slightly, rather the way she would toward Fury. "Was there something else that we had to discuss?"

"You are not what I expected you to be," Odin murmured.

"That's rather the point."

"What do you mean?"

"You couldn't handle Loki here because everything is done in one particular way. Things don't change. Adaptations are slow. I don't have that luxury. But that means he hasn't figured me out yet. He can't consistently manipulate me."

"Consistently," he echoed.

Natasha shrugged, aware that Frigga was watching her intently. "It happens. Just means I have to get better at it."

"Even when you're harmed in the process."

"I thought I understood the risk."

"And now?"

"In some ways, I understand him better than he does himself."

Odin lost some of the tension in his shoulders. "And that is something we've never accomplished here. He can't be contained."

"No, he can't. But he can be _managed."_

"He is a wild thing. A creature you cannot predict."

"I know."

That seemed to throw him a little. "Yet you continue."

"Someone has to."

"And why is that someone you?" he asked, gaze intent.

Natasha let him see that she wasn't terribly impressed with this line of discussion, which made Odin blink. She supposed people very rarely challenged him; Thor had mentioned he had tried to do just that before he was exiled to New Mexico. He had no authority over her, which likely compounded Odin's dilemma.

"I'm able to set limits that you can't. Is that what you want to hear?" she asked, voice as dry as the desert. "Worse yet, for some of them, _he listens."_

"Why does he listen to _you?"_

"Because I'm mortal, you mean?" she asked, eyebrow lofted. If she took a similar tone with Fury, he would have glared at her for a while and then backed down to try a different tactic. Odin, not used to this, bristled.

"What's so special about you?" Odin pressed.

"I'm not you," she replied flatly. "And he knows if I don't like his bullshit, I'll walk away."

"You would leave him? Let him destroy a realm—"

"No. I've already made it clear I'll put him down."

Frigga's breath caught, and she leaned against the throne. Odin fell silent. "You would kill him."

"Without hesitation."

But was that a lie? She had helped him out of Amora's trap, had positioned herself above him to limit some of his pain by taking it on herself. Here she was, toe to toe with Odin himself, discussing Loki as if he was a job she was working on. But she also recalled the relaxation of Loki's tension when she had told him that very same thing. He _wanted_ her limits even as he railed against them. He wanted her to constrain him, give him rules to follow or rebel against, wanted that kind of interaction. Loki was an overgrown child that had never been taken in hand when he went too far.

Odin was assessing her impassive expression and easy stance. She met his stare evenly, uncaring that it could be seen as aggressive. Let him see her as a warrior. Let him see that she meant what she said. He needed to see that the Aesir weren't as well prepared to face this kind of choice as she was. Leaders might have to make difficult decisions, but Odin was also a father that could not bear to see his sons in pain. She didn't have that limitation.

Finally, he turned to Frigga. "Go with the scanner and the Healing team. See that the wound is closed." Odin turned back to Natasha with a heavy expression. "Perhaps he can find peace."

Not likely, but Natasha wasn't so cruel that she would say that out loud. Even she had limits.

***

Tony lit up like a kid in a candy store when the Soul Forge arrived, and Bruce looked on in amusement. Natasha didn't miss the way he longingly touched the device and looked at its readouts, or the intensity of the discussion he had with the Healer. She managed not to smirk as they talked, and left them in one of Tony's labs to move through the Tower. JARVIS had reported that Loki remained in her suite, not moving from where he was on her bed. Clint and Steve had checked in on him, finding him pale and still, murmuring to himself in a language they didn't understand. He hadn't even seemed aware that they were there.

Frigga followed her rather than stay with the Healer and Bruce. Natasha didn't say anything to her as she went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and discuss things with Clint and Steve. She could see the queen's discomfited expression but didn't remark on it. Once the men left the kitchen area, Frigga turned to Natasha. "Are you sure you're helping Loki?"

"What exactly are you concerned with?" she asked, sipping her tea.

"That you so casually mentioned killing him. Rather like how you so casually mentioned killing Amora." Frigga's hands were clasped in front of her, knuckles showing her strain. "I understand Amora was a threat. But how it was done..."

"Ripping out her throat, you mean? I didn't even mention cutting out her heart and setting it on fire. I did that, too, just to be sure she was dead."

That was possibly too cruel to say, given how Frigga blanched. "And you have no emotion as you say these things."

"Am I supposed to?"

Frigga looked away, discomfited. "Asgard is... There are traditions. Sif broke with many of them when she trained as a warrior and decided not to learn womanly arts."

Natasha crossed her arms over her chest, unamused. "So defending one's homeland and beliefs isn't womanly?"

Turning back toward Natasha, Frigga gave her a wan smile. "Not in Asgard."

"I'm not from Asgard."

"No. No, you are not. Perhaps that is why you are able to help Loki. Perhaps this is why Jane Foster appealed to Thor. Traditions matter, but they are not the only thing that matters. In Asgard, nothing changes. We keep to our ways, and everything stays the same."

"So no one knows how to deal with someone like Loki."

"No, they don't," Frigga agreed.

"I'm a challenge, you've said that before. No one on Asgard is challenge enough. And they probably wouldn't want to be, even if they were."

"He is a wellspring of pain, regret and rage. We are unfamiliar with such things."

Natasha didn't think that was true, but remained silent. The men of Asgard likely waged war or instituted combat challenges to get over their anger. Loki didn't have that option. After taking another sip of her tea, she looked at Frigga with a frank expression. "I do what has to be done, the things that no one else wants to do. That's all."

"Yet it is still so much," Frigga murmured faintly.

"Because you love him, and so does Odin." She smiled thinly at Frigga's start of surprise. "You can't hurt him, even if that's what he needs. You can't stop him when he's upset, because it might hurt either of you. I understand that. I just do it anyway."

"Because it must be done," Frigga said, her tone more like a question. Natasha nodded and sipped at her tea, not terribly hopeful that Frigga would understand the concept. "I would like to visit with him before returning to Asgard."

She led Frigga to her suite, not expecting Loki to have moved. He hadn't, and she let Frigga have quiet time with Loki in her bedroom. The Queen had a pained expression as she gazed down at his pale, sickly face. Brushing his hair aside, Frigga looked to be on the verge of tears. Natasha felt like a voyeur as she witnessed her pain, and backed away into her sitting room. Just to have something else to do, she took her tablet and logged into her account at SHIELD. Most of the messages could be discarded, and she quickly sent a message to Fury and Sitwell describing the incident in the cave with as little detail as possible. Agents could retrieve the Quinjet if they haven't already, and likely someone would want to look at the cavern.

It occurred to her that the ring and amulet hadn't been found. She could only assume that Amora had taken them from Loki when he was bound and chained, but they hadn't been on her body when Natasha killed her. Loki was in no position to create portals or hiding places, but smaller magicks were still possible. She pursed her lips, thinking of his penchant for invisibility. While she had no interest in returning to the cavern, she didn't want junior agents cataloguing the cavern to come across the objects and be warped by their power. There was no telling if the changes in Loki's personality were permanent, or if there was a way back from that. Cognitive recalibration or personality overlays would guarantee it, but that was Red Room technology and practice. It wasn't the way she liked to operate.

But it would solve so many problems in one fell swoop.

Natasha gripped the tablet so hard, she was surprised that it didn't crack. Loki and Frigga wouldn't care where she was, so she immediately headed for Tony's lab. Bruce and the Healer were deep in conversation about the scanner and how best to use it, while Tony calculated how best to integrate it into the Tower technology. "Tony?" she asked, and waited until he looked up. "Would you be able to jaunt back to that cavern with me?"

"I don't take you as the spelunking type."

"I think the ring and amulet are still there, and I want to get it before SHIELD does."

Tony's eyebrows crawled up toward his hairline. "Not letting Fury in on the toys? I'm surprised at you. I thought you were a good little secret agent."

"Can you imagine a junior agent with that kind of power?"

He grimaced. "Let's not." He looked over at Bruce. "Hey, hold down the fort, will ya? I need to check on something, probably an hour or so."

"We might have the calibrations properly aligned by then," Bruce said without even looking in their direction. "I want to make sure we don't drain out the Tower's energy supply."

"Yeah... Let's not do that, okay? We like JARVIS right where he is."

"Thank you, sir," the AI responded in his usual dry tones.

Once Tony donned his armor, he picked up Natasha and headed straight for the cavern. Staff and visitors still weren't in the area; had it really been only hours before? Natasha's sense of time was off, but it hadn't been too long since they had rescued Loki. All of the false walls and stone golems were gone now, having disappeared when Amora died. She unerringly picked her way across the stones and headed straight for the main cavern in the back. Tony followed her, quietly observing her movements. It was an itch in the back of her spine, but Natasha ignored it. She was focused on the different feel of the cavern, where the sense of magic might be. Some of Amora's spells had remained, layered into the stone and set to permanence.

The scanner didn't quite register Loki's twin swords as magical anymore, and the runes on both swords were faded. Tony did help retrieve the one lodged in the fang, and Natasha winced at the dulled edge of the blade. It was even more noticeable when she hooked the twin swords back together. Perhaps there was a way to repair the damage.

"Maybe you can still find the ring? It likely has an invisibility spell on it."

"I'm looking for something invisible," Tony said, disbelief evident in his voice. He removed the faceplate to his Iron Man armor and looked at her closely. "You're not kidding. I thought you were kidding. I really thought you were kidding."

"Did you really think Loki would allow anyone else to have something he thinks is his?"

Tony thought it over for half a second. "Good point."

While Tony used the scanner to go through the cavern, Natasha tried to feel for magic that felt like Loki's. They both eventually converged on the side of the cavern opposite the dais. Natasha felt along the floor, looking for the ring and amulet. When she found them, she looked up. "Have a compartment to store these? I'm pretty sure wearing these won't be good for our mental states."

A slim compartment slid out of the side of his right leg, and Natasha dropped the ring and amulet into them. The amulet barely fit, and seemed to get wedged into place partway through. "So where to?" he asked as she let go of the amulet. "SHIELD?"

"The Tower," Natasha said with a shake of her head.

"Wait... You're not handing these things over like a good little agent?"

"Right now, you and Bruce have the most experience looking into these kinds of artifacts, and you already have data. Not to mention, you have the before and after resonance data for what it did to Loki. SHIELD doesn't have that."

Tony looked at her for a moment, then helped her to her feet. "You don't trust them, do you?"

"Let's just say that an independent contractor is the best route here. Sometimes outside the system works better for certain problems."

"You just mentioned it was an associate... They know it's Loki, don't they?"

"Just Fury and Sitwell."

Looking thoughtful, Tony nodded. "Probably wouldn't want that getting out."

"There are some things people simply don't need to know."

"What happens when they find out you gave these things to me?"

"We'll see if that happens. I expect you and Bruce to have results first."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." He grinned at her and then flipped his faceplate back down. "Ready to go? Bruce and Helga should be about ready to patch the crazy godling back together by the time we get back."

Natasha sighed, finding his silly nicknames irritating, but took it as a good sign. The more serious he got, the worse the situation usually was. The flight back to the Tower was uneventful, and sure enough, Clint and Steve were carrying Loki to the lab on a makeshift stretcher. Frigga hung back, uncertain of what to do. Natasha approached her slowly, not sure if she would welcome her presence.

"He's in such pain," Frigga murmured, looking over at Natasha with a grief-stricken expression.

"I'm sure they'll be able to heal the wound," Natasha said encouragingly.

"There are some wounds that even the Soul Forge cannot find."

"He's got the luxury of time to heal," Natasha said. Frigga slowly shook her head, but Natasha reached out to grasp her arm. "Loki is tougher than he thinks he is."

Frigga looked at her, not sure she heard Natasha correctly. "But he's always declared how much stronger he is..."

Natasha gave Frigga a pointed look. "Would _any_ Asgardian admit to weakness?"

The Queen smiled faintly in acknowledgement. "You may have a point."

"We'll let them work on whatever they need to do. Why don't we go somewhere else, take your mind off of it?" Natasha suggested. She really had no idea what else the Asgardian Queen wanted to do or was interested in, but there had to be something away from the lab.

"I appreciate the offer, but perhaps I should return to Asgard. Odin will want to hear about Loki's condition." She smiled at Natasha's uncertain expression. "He does care, but it would not be safe on Asgard if Loki returned. He could do something foolish, or one of the guard might. Either way, he's safest elsewhere."

Assuming his mind went back to something approaching his normal. If not, it truly might be kinder if Natasha killed him.

Frigga touched Natasha's arm gently. "We do thank you for your efforts. Odin may not seem so, but he is grateful. Since Loki first expressed interest in you, some of the anger has calmed."

That wasn't exactly true, but it was kinder to let them keep that illusion. "We'll see," she said noncommittally. After Frigga returned to Asgard, Natasha headed to the range to blow off a little steam and decompress. She wasn't quite ready to talk to Fury yet. Perhaps about a thousand rounds of ammo dead center into targets, or using her knives would help get rid of her unsettled feeling, as if she was going to displease everyone around her.

She didn't think it would work, but it was still worth a try.

***  
***


	2. Changing Directions

Natasha headed to the helicarrier without checking in on Loki. Bruce, Tony and the Asgardian Healer were all with him, and someone was bound to contact her if something went wrong. Not to mention, she could still hear his screams all too clearly, so there was no need for an encore. She felt somewhat closer to her usual levels of calm, which allowed her to put on her usual emotionless façade. When she got to the assigned conference room, there was Fury, Sitwell and Maria Hill, who she hadn't expected. Hill hadn't really been involved in any of her cases so far, though she was also Level Nine clearance.

Fury gestured to a seat in front of the three of them; she tried to push aside the feeling that this was a tribunal of some kind. Perhaps Fury thought Hill should be brought in on this, given she was present during the Battle of New York and thought highly of the World Council. Natasha and Clint knew they weren't the only ones who thought the World Council should back off and let them do their jobs, but like any bureaucrat, they thought highly of themselves and their opinions of ops assigned by SHIELD.

"We're bringing Hill in, given new data coming in from agents out in the field," Fury began.

"New data?"

Hill nodded briskly, and tapped on her tablet, bringing up information on the wall screen behind her for Natasha to view. "One of our informants in Dubai was able to pass along information regarding a lab believed to be either Hydra or related to Project Centipede." The lab itself was brought up for viewing. "It's being shut down, much of its equipment being shipped to a warehouse in Austria. The warehouse staff and its provenances are being looked into, but it's believed to be a Hydra lab."

"Believed to be," Natasha echoed, looking at Hill.

"One of my teams has been looking into Austria for some time. The warehouse is owned by Maia Schleiss, and we're looking into her history now."

Natasha looked between the three stoic faces in front of her. "Am I going in undercover?"

"That's the issue we need to discuss," Fury said. "My concern is that you're getting to be too recognizable thanks to the Avenger Initiative."

She lofted an eyebrow at him. "You requested my involvement."

"Yes, I did." Fury leveled a stare in her direction. "And now that involvement looks to be limiting your ability to do the kind of immersion work you're good at."

"Looking into the cockup at Andorra," Sitwell began, bringing up his own files on the wall screen, "part of what may have tipped off Sarkissian is how often your face was plastered on the internet and news feeds. Changing clothes or hair color isn't going to be enough to lower that recognition threshold, especially if they use facial recognition software the way we do."

"And then there's your informant," Hill said, leaning forward slightly in her seat, a subtle emphasis on the word informant. "That might be a much messier job than anyone could have predicted, and it's arguably more important than you going undercover into Austria."

"While we obviously would rather use your skills here," Sitwell began, "taking part in the Avengers Initiative is likely a better use of your resources."

"Because of Loki," Natasha said without inflection. She didn't see it as more important than possibly going to Austria. Going after Hydra was her job, containing Loki was a mission she had undertaken on her own.

"Quite frankly, he's a very real concern. And this other Asgardian you mentioned—"

"Is dead now," Natasha interrupted.

"That's all well and good," Sitwell replied, unperturbed, "but what of the next problem? Or the next? It began with an Asgardian suit of armor, then an intergalactic army. Now it's a caster..." He shook his head. "At this point, your presence with the Avengers Initiative is more valuable. They know you and they trust you."

"And more importantly," Fury intoned when she would have spoken, "Odin requested you to be the Earth's Ambassador."

Natasha blinked in surprise. "When?"

"It was first suggested after Loki's attempt to discredit you with the World Council," Fury admitted. "But he reinforced the request this morning."

Because she was willing to do the hard things that he couldn't, though she didn't voice that out loud. "I see."

"You also know a lot about the inner workings of AIM and Hydra," Hill added. "They're making moves toward magicians as well as higher technology."

"They can be integrated," Natasha said. "From what the others have said about spell work, it results in subtle radiation and shifts in quantum mechanic signatures. Past that, you'd have to talk to Bruce or Tony."

"But that's my point," Fury said, giving her a level look. "You can integrate all of this information easily, and it's a rather unique situation." He paused. "I submitted my approval for your Ambassadorship this morning."

So the choice of SHIELD vs. Avengers was essentially being made for her. Natasha wasn't sure if she should feel relieved or insulted that she couldn't choose.

Hill caught her stiff posture, and her expression was nearly a grimace. "You could probably get away with one more undercover job against Hydra. But their higher level agents will recognize you before too long. Hair dye will only hide your presence so much."

"So will my work with SHIELD be desk work only?" To be confined to the Maze only would make her itch before long, and Ambassadors had to work with endless protocols.

"You'd be our go between to the Avengers."

Natasha nodded. Really, it was a foregone conclusion if she could no longer be sent out on active missions. She lived at Avengers Tower anyway, and was part of the team. "What about Clint Barton or Steve Rogers? Clint's an agent and Steve more or less is one."

"Barton's a SHIELD agent on loan to the Avengers," Sitwell informed her. "If we need him, we'd have to recall him, same as you. In reality, we're more likely to call him into the field on our behalf more than you at this point." He didn't even look perturbed at her lofted eyebrow. "He's a marksman more than intense infiltration, and his identity hasn't been compromised yet."

"He would have been seen at the Battle of New York, not to mention the smaller skirmishes that we've been in."

"But in the rafters, he's less distinct."

Ranged vs. melee fighter. It was to be expected.

"Is there something in mind?" Sitwell asked when Natasha remained silent and visibly discontent with this information.

"I want that last mission against Hydra. I want to take down the Sarkissians," she said flatly.

Hill nodded. "Move now, and it's possible."

"Then it's decided," Fury said. Sitwell couldn't argue with that order, so he remained silent. "What's Loki's status?"

"They're working on repairing the venom damage."

"You seemed to have healed well enough," Sitwell remarked.

"His damage was worse."

"And his mental state?" Hill asked, browed furrowed in concern.

"I won't know until I stop by the lab again."

"But when he got the damage?" Sitwell asked, brows still furrowed.

Natasha thought of the way he sobbed and begged her to leave him, and how tortured her damage had made him. His attempt to ask for a usual session was his attempt at normalcy, which he so desperately needed. "He's not himself," she said finally.

"In a way that would harm our interests?"

"Depends on how it aligns with _his_ interests," she replied truthfully. Past his concerns or damage to her person, he may not care about what SHIELD did.

"So, no different than before," Hill commented.

"Precisely."

"Can you still try to shift his actions to aid us?"

"That's how he got this damage in the first place," she said with a nod. "He took the rings so Hydra couldn't."

"Where are they now?"

"Still hidden on Yggdrasil," she told Sitwell.

"How will we get them, then?"

"Right now, _no one_ has them, and it's likely safer that way," she said flatly. "These aren't the rings that the Ten Rings were using. They're Asgardian, not Makluon, so the search is still on to ensure that Hydra won't get them."

"So you're still in the middle of your initial mission," Hill remarked. "Going to Austria would just enhance that."

"Do whatever it takes to destabilize Hydra," Fury commanded. "They're building a power base, and we _can't_ have that."

"Understood." She gave the three of them a serious look. "They are a threat all the Avengers want to stop." At Sitwell's confused look, Natasha repressed the urge to roll her eyes. "Steve fought Hydra. They're histories enemies of the SSR and SHIELD."

"So we have a plan of action," he said.

"Then get to it, Agent Romanoff," Fury said, rising.

Natasha rose as well. Hopefully her self-assured behavior would actually lead to Hydra's downfall, and it wasn't just bluster.

***

Remnants of Amora's venom were flushed out of Loki's wound. He still looked sickly and pale, sweat-sticky hair hanging in clumps around his head. Loki's breathing was shallow from pain and distrust, panic barely concealed. Natasha brought washcloths and ordered the Healer out of the lab summarily. She scurried out, and Natasha could hear Jarvis giving directions to lead her to find Bruce. Alone with Loki, she helped him sit up, then loosened his armor and clothing, ultimately removing it. The wound looked infinitely better than the last time she had seen it. Grabbing a basin of warm water that the Healer had left behind, she started giving the exposed skin a sponge bath. The tension eased out of him gradually.

"Today's our day," Natasha murmured. "I'd serve you this way if it pleases you."

"It's your turn, Natasha," he reminded her, his tone just as soft.

"I can swap."

"We agreed not to do that."

"Ah." Natasha continued cleaning him off, as if it was no big deal he wouldn't take the out she was giving him. "In that case, I'll postpone the day."

"Until?" he prompted, leaning into her touch.

"Until movement doesn't cause you pain."

"Possibly as early as tomorrow," he told her.

"Then I defer to the day after tomorrow."

Loki nodded his agreement, further tension bleeding out of him. "There's still pain," he admitted after a while, turning his head to watch her as she moved to watch her circle him.

"The surface sealed over, at least."

"I feel it." His fingers closed over her hand. "Inside, burning."

Natasha continued to wash his skin, using slow, caressing movement. She leaned into him a little, lips brushing close to his ear. "What would work best as a distraction?"

Loki gave her a halfhearted leer, which made her smile. "Your superiors issued orders, did they not?" he asked, no inflection in his tone. That was actually very reassuring.

"Yes. I'm going after Hydra."

"I'll go with you."

Natasha sighed. "Loki..."

"I won't interfere. But I won't stay here and they've been sending you after magic items. You cannot defend against such things." His hand tightened over hers, forcing her to stop. His gaze was uncomfortably intense. "I would not have them harming you."

"Only you can do such things?" she asked dryly.

"I haven't done such things with my days."

"No, you haven't," she admitted, seeing him withdraw slightly.

"I will not allow you to come to harm."

"I suppose that makes you a bodyguard of sorts." If only he knew what her role would be once she finished this last mission. He would appreciate the irony.

He gave her an inquiring look. "Would you have need of one?"

"Not usually."

Loki laughed and pulled her closer toward him. She resisted on principle, so there was some distance between their mouths. "You remain unbroken still. I will discover why."

She was a challenge to him, and would draw his interest for some time. "You can try," she told him in a seductive tone, knowing it would goad him further.

"I'll best you yet."

Natasha nipped his lip playfully, then disentangled herself. "We'll see."

With difficulty, Loki swung his legs over the side of the bed and took on a relaxed pose. "I'm injured, but I'll heal. I'm still a god."

And he would still be the unstable Asgardian exile she would have to manage and contain. She couldn't overestimate her skill, but he had willingly given her the means to rein him in.

"Heal quickly," she purred. The smoldering gaze in his eyes was similar to his prior looks. Whatever damage the rings had done to his mind was hopefully temporary. Hopefully.

"With spells if I must."

Natasha gave him a sultry look. "You must," she said before turning to leave.

"There's more of me to clean," he taunted, kicking out one of his legs.

Her lips curled into a smile as she looked over her shoulder. "Think of me as you do it."

His laughter sounded like his usual self, which was a very good sign as far as she was concerned.

***

Pulling Clint and Steve aside into a side room, Natasha summarized her meeting with Fury, Hill and Sitwell. Steve frowned, mulling over her words. "So we're all in that gray area between organizations," Steve said.

"Pretty much. But we'd be used for more public ops now, and Clint can still do recon or backup ops." Natasha looked at them both. "I did ask to finish this one out. I don't want to leave the job incomplete, not after all the investment I've put into it."

Clint gave her a wry smile. "Perfectionist."

"Someone's got to be, you slacker," she teased.

"So how can we help?" Steve asked.

"That I'll have to figure out. Loki already said he wants to come with me in case there are magic items Hydra collected."

"He's obsessed with you," Steve told her with a frown.

Natasha nodded, and Clint looked at her in concern. "You're going to use that, I know you. But it didn't work out as well as you thought it would the last time."

"Which is why I'm telling you, in case I need the backup. I doubt I'd get proper backup from a field office."

"How _is_ Loki?" Clint asked with a frown.

"Not quite as bad as when he wore the rings."

"What does Odin expect you to do?"

Natasha shrugged. "He didn't exactly say much when I was there, so I can only assume he wants me to do more of the same."

"Rather like Fury," Steve commented. "Just like every general on the field—only telling you just enough to move you in the right direction, but not enough to give you an idea of _why_ the orders are coming down the way they are."

"We're supposed to trust in the system," Clint sighed.

 _"Supposed to,"_ Natasha stressed. "But then, neither of you are Level Nine clearance." She grinned at them in a conspiratorial manner.

"If you need us, we've got your back. Bruce and Tony will, too," Steve added. "And when Thor's back on Earth, he'll help, too. That's what being on a team is about."

"I know. We're just used to a much smaller team."

Steve gave her arm a subtle squeeze. "So how do we help with Loki?" he asked earnestly. "He doesn't trust anyone here but you, and even then, it's obsession, not trust."

"I'm not sure where he's at mentally just yet," she admitted. "I know it's not as bad as last week, but he wasn't exactly easily predictable before."

Clint pulled a face. "This is involving the stuff I don't want to hear about, right?"

She grinned. "Very likely."

"You just love fucking with me, don't you?"

"You make it too easy," she teased.

Steve couldn't help but laugh at them. "I'm sure I won't like the details either, right?"

"Probably not. I'm continually bait, to put it nicely."

Nodding, Steve sighed. "Not my favorite way to get the job done, but it works." He grasped her arm in a friendly show of support. "We're with you, Natasha. Just say the word."

She kept her wide smile and patted both of their arms. "Thanks. I really appreciate that."

***

It was almost comforting to be in the Astoria safe house, especially after Natasha convinced Tony that he didn't need to keep his extended search protocols in place. "I know where Loki is going. I have the app you installed for me," she added to forestall his protests. "If I have concern about where he is, I will absolutely expand the search parameters."

Sitting on the couch in the living room, she took in the bare bones look of the place. That was in stark contrast to the lush decorating job Loki had done to the bedroom. She hadn't ever intended this safe house to actually be a place to run to, but Loki didn't have anywhere else to go in Midgard. His prior behavior had ensured that, and he had no other allies.

He opened the door, strolling in looking like an ordinary human man. He wore slim black jeans with silver rivets over black heeled boots. His shirt was a light green, almost teal, unbuttoned at the throat and cuffs undone. There was no sign of the ring or amulet, so likely Bruce and Tony did a much better job hiding them this time around. Loki wasn't so frighteningly pale, and his hair fell in soft waves around his face. It made him look more vulnerable than she expected, but it was a good look for him.

Loki smiled when he saw her with her feet up on the couch, and he locked the door behind him the way she usually did. Resetting the alarms and wards took but a moment, and then he stood at the side of the couch. "Natasha," he murmured, voice soft. She could almost hear the longing in his voice, and willed herself not to react to it.

"All damage is healed?"

She knew for a fact that her own back had healed without scarring, no indication at all that she had ever been injured. The Healer hadn't been able to say the same of Loki's wounds; Amora had apparently concocted something and tailored it to destroy him specifically. It hadn't targeted his Jotun nature, but was probably a spell that targeted him by name.

Magic could be such a bitch sometimes.

"I'm well enough," he answered. Yes, there was that longing.

"Take off the shirt and show me," she commanded.

Loki's nostrils flared; he wanted this, but probably hadn't expected her to dive in again so soon after his arrival. Without her asking him to, he dropped to his knees in front of her and then swiftly unbuttoned the shirt. There was no undershirt to block her view of his chest. He was lean, thinner than before, some of the muscle having wasted away as he walked Yggdrasil. Natasha ran her finger along the edge of discolored skin just above his heart. It was slightly darker than the rest of his pale chest, but not puckered or showing sign of infection.

"Do I please you?" he asked, voice soft. There was no challenge in his tone, no mockery to draw out her crueler side. If anything, he was infinitely gentler now, as if a single harsh word from her would cause his spirit to shatter.

She didn't want that. She might have wanted many things, but that was not one of them. That would make her no better than Amora.

Instead, Natasha raised her hand. Loki managed not to flinch at that, but she merely cupped his cheek and ran her thumb across the corner of his mouth. "I'm glad you're not dead."

"Are you really?" he asked, voice thick with repressed emotion.

"Yes, I am," she replied honestly.

"I've hurt you so much," he whispered.

"Yes, you have," she agreed. "You've been an insufferable, angry bastard."

"You don't like me."

"Not all the time, no."

His gaze was level with hers, and she met his eyes without flinching. He wanted honesty, and honesty _hurt._ It would be easier to lie, but that would cause him to retreat into himself, and ultimately he would unravel and take it out on the universe. He'd been lied to enough, and he had more than earned this truth.

"What would you have me do?" he asked, a slight rasp to his voice.

"Take off your clothes."

Relief flooded his posture as he hurried to do her bidding, and he knelt down on the floor in front of her afterward. Natasha studied the lean lines of his body, then reached out and traced the splotch of darker skin over his chest. Loki's breath caught, his lower lip trembling slightly as he tried to keep his body still during her perusal. He wouldn't speak, not until he had her explicit permission, but she could tell that he wanted to ask why she was doing this. Why not have him on his hands and knees eating her out? Or bent over so she could take him? Why no tools or chains, no other reminders of his most recent bout of captivity?

"I have the chain here," she murmured, scratching at his skin a little harder. Loki may have made a soft despairing sound, but it was swallowed up by a ragged breath. "I will use it on you."

"Whatever you like," he whispered.

"But not today."

His eyes rose to hers, a faint shine to them. His expression was one of fear and anticipation at once; he feared the memories that the chains would invoke even as he craved her touch and his response to it. He was a bundle of contradictions, longing for a place to belong even as he destroyed it. It was pure chaos, a maelstrom he kept creating even as he tried to escape from it. If he did get a prolonged period of rest, he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

"Natasha," he whispered, voice breaking.

"She wanted to kill you because she was petty and insane." Natasha paused, reaching out to touch his cheek again. "You've got your own kind of crazy going on," she murmured, running the ball of her thumb over his lip. Loki wasn't breathing, his eyes transfixed on her face. "What you need to understand is that I'm here and I'm going to control you. I'm the only one allowed to kill you. Is that understood?"

Loki let out a relieved breath, tension bleeding from the slope of his bare shoulders. "Yes, Natasha," he said softly. He let his eyes fall shut as she continued to rub his lip gently. "I trust you," he added, voice barely audible.

My, how far they have come since their first meeting on the helicarrier.

Spreading her legs wide so that they fell on either side of his waist, she shimmied to the edge of the couch. His breathing was so shallow now, as if afraid she would let go of him. "Loki," she murmured, infinitely gentle.

He opened his eyes, a terrible vulnerability and _need_ evident on his face. "Natasha," he whispered, voice hoarse.

"What do you need?"

"I don't know." Loki's breath hitched, and he blinked furiously. "I don't know anymore." His voice broke, and he made no effort to hide it from her. "I thought I did. I had plans. I knew what I must do. But then..."

"But then."

He shivered under her heavy gaze but remained silent. She could almost hear him saying her name as if it was a prayer. _Natasha._

They were bound somehow, not from whatever magic spells he might have laid into her, but by the sum of these experiences they'd shared, the level of intimacy that neither were willing to share with anyone else. Almost in spite of herself, Natasha knew there were certain things she could trust Loki to always do or say; as much as he had lied about not wearing the rings and had struck her, he would not lie to her here, not under these circumstances.

"I can get the chains," she began slowly, feeling the tremors pass through him. "I can wrap them around your wrists. I can hang you from the ceiling, _touch you,_ and you couldn't touch me. I can blindfold you, and you could listen to me moving all around you." His eyes fell closed almost of their own volition. "I can do this."

"I will let you," he whispered brokenly when she fell silent.

"I know." She stroked his hair softly. "But I won't do that today."

Loki's eyes flew open. "Why not?" There was audible agony in his voice. "Why won't you? It's your day, your time. You do with me as you will."

"I'll be leaving for Austria soon," she murmured. "And that's my last mission undercover. After that, I'll be serving as Ambassador to Asgard. Odin insisted on it, and Fury agreed." She laughed at his stunned expression. "That was rather my thought, too."

"But we... How can you—?"

"So today, I want you to do what you want."

"I can't," he said, eyes going wide. She couldn't tell if it was shock or fear, if he thought that she was trying to trick him somehow.

"You can and you will," she purred in her domme voice. "Because words are your weapons, and I won't have you using those. Today, you show me what you want. Deeds, not words."

Loki licked his lips almost nervously. "Whatever I want," he said, making sure he had heard her correctly. At her nod, he still had to ask "Are you sure?"

"No artifice, Loki. I want you to show me."

He surged forward, capturing her mouth with his. The kiss held all the emotion he couldn't voice, his tongue licking into her mouth and his hand coming to rest at the base of her skull, holding her close. His other hand cupped a breast through her clothes, and he pressed himself against her as if he could slide inside her very skin. It wasn't possessive in the slightest, however. Natasha supposed that he was exploring her response, cradling her body with his hands, as if he could protect her from whatever was coming in the future.

Loki deepened the kiss further and pulled at her shirt. The kiss broke just long enough for him to pull her shirt up and over her head, then he seized her mouth again. There was desperation there, as if he couldn't believe she was allowing this, as if he thought she would hurt him after what they had both gone through in the caverns. He unhooked her bra hurriedly, drawing the straps down her shoulders, then pulled her flush against his chest. The skin to skin contact felt electric, as if they'd never touched before. Maybe because this time there was no game to it; he didn't have her tied up at his mercy or attempting to make her beg for release, and she didn't have him twisted up in knots of self-loathing and despair. This time, she gave him permission to seek what physical comfort he wanted, no games or need for either of them to show dominance.

Pulling her to the floor, Loki moved to kiss her neck and lick at the valley between her breasts as he fumbled with the button and zipper on her jeans. Taking some pity on him, Natasha undid them and kicked them off as well as her underwear. With reverent touches, Loki moved over her body, kissing and licking just about every inch of exposed skin. He made love to her, every move over her skin like a prayer, as if he could memorize this moment or make it last for eternity. They moved to the bedroom at her insistence, but he still didn't let her take the lead. Loki didn't say a word as their bodies moved in tandem, as she writhed beneath him and cried out. He was close to tears, wordless emotion clearly evident.

Afterward, he curled up around her, still holding her close. She could almost feel the shivers rolling through him, and turned in his embrace. Touching his cheeks gently, she watched him carefully as he struggled to control his breathing. "Loki."

"You are," he started to say, then took a breath. "You are an anchor. When I tread Yggdrasil, when she cut into me. Thinking of you brought me back here."

_You are a balm. The calm before the storm._

Natasha slid an arm around his torso, holding him tight. "Comfort," she murmured.

"Yes."

"There's so little of it otherwise."

"Exactly," he breathed, his eyes sliding shut. Here, he could be at peace, and she knew what he needed. He didn't even have to ask.

Natasha tilted her chin up and brushed her lips across his, a gentle and tender moment that had him sighing again. "I'll keep you safe, Loki. You can depend on that."

Cradling her body against his, it was clear that Loki did depend on her now. He might not have been able to verbalize his feelings without trying to turn it into a game or manipulation, but it was clear in how he touched her. It was clear in all the things he did, all the lies he couldn't voice, all the demons he couldn't name.

Even liars told the truth sometimes. Who better to know than another liar?

This was one perfect moment of peace, one they both valued. Perhaps it was the only truth they really needed.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we come to the end of the second arc of stories. I'm putting this comment at the end of this story so it doesn't detract from the text. Usually I don't write much about my Real Life goings on with fic updates, but since I've been doing these updates pretty consistently and I've mentioned in comments that I've been working on later stories in this series, I figure I should say a little something. I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant, and I fully expect to deliver sometime during the 40th week. (I did with my other two kids, so I don't think it's out of line to expect a repeat performance. lol)
> 
> This is only relevant in the sense that the third arc is mostly written (still trying to slog through the ending of #12 while participating in the AA Fest and working full time and dealing with two small children and... well, you get the idea!) But if I deliver more or less on time, I don't want to post up one or possibly two chapters of the next story, then leave it hanging for a while until I get into some sort of routine with my new baby. I'd rather take a brief hiatus in the weekly updates, figure out a good time to restart, and then post again. And in the meantime, maybe I'll finish #12. We'll see. Babies are rather predictably unpredictable in the newborn stage. :D


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